So much for the plan

Finally turned the heat on last night. Woke up to a dry throat and an apartment that vaguely smelled of burnt dust. Too late to eat breakfast. I have to be at work on time. First day of sweeps.
I stayed late on Wednesday cutting a package for the morning show to run, promoting my story. Found out they ran it only once, at 4:30am, instead of running it in the last segment of the show before the Today show, when it would get the most viewers. Instead, our morning crew ran a story about an NBA player selling a championship ring, and how to mimic Lady Gaga's meat costume for halloween.
Halloween. I don't have my costume ready. Guess I'll do that Friday. Once again, life waits for work.
I overhear her talking about going to some Halloween party with a guy, and maybe coordinating costumes. Guess that window of opportunity closed. I can't even decide if I care or not, really. I'm lonely, but I'm not sure if I was really interested, or just looking for anyone to be even remotely friendly to me.
I start my work. Put scripts into rundowns. Order graphics. Order dekos. Send some extra content over to the web people. Go to a sweeps meeting with the General Manager. Bite my tongue as she asks if there are any problems, since I don't want to be the one that says we just don't have enough people to finish everything on our plate. Frustrated knowing I'm the least paid in that room, but I was the one who worked an 11 hour day.
Lunch with Rob. Talk about how the station isn't even trying to compete. We're not number one in pay, not number one in the number of reporters or photographers on staff, but our bosses are surprised that we're not number one in the ratings?
As predicted weeks ago, the producers complain about the length of the stories. Despite approving them days ago, the news director asks me to cut. I comply. I get the job done. Edit two more stories for our crime franchise. Write and edit another promo story for the morning, just hoping it will run in a place where it might actually stand a chance of attracting some viewers. Help a photographer recover what could have been a lost day of editing. Meet with one of the anchors about his series projects. Leave at 8pm, knowing I've already got a full plate for this Friday, and slightly worried about what we're going to put on the air next Friday. Loose strings that need to be tightened.
Too late to do that grocery shopping, too late to assemble the pieces for a Halloween costume. Life postponed for work, again.
Alone and sulking. Even the cat doesn't want to be around me. Wondering if I'd be feeling different if I'd followed through on that promise to myself to just talk to her after I got back from the wedding. Just talk to her. Spend some time. Now that just seems unlikely. Undesirable. Unwarranted risk. Uncle. I don't feel like I can be a better man. Not today. Not here. Not sure when. Or, for that matter, why it's worth the effort.