I'm going to be a better man

It's been a long time since I've blogged. So much for keeping my writing muscles flexed. The past few weeks culminated in me making a decision that I've got to work on being a better man. For me, that includes writing/blogging more often. So, in response to not blogging often enough, I've decided to start a new blog: How to Be a Better Man. Here's the first entry/blog:

How I'm going to work on "How to Be a Better Man."

I've been inspired. Or, I'm sick of being this way. Which one, I'm not sure.

       I just got out of the new movie The Social Network, and it kinda felt like a slap in the face: this little asshole dweeb is a billionaire; what have you done with your life, Wiener? (Wiener not being an insult here, but being my surname.) But the most impactfull moments were the blistering opening scene, and the ending: it was all about trying to connect with one woman.

       I've been to eleven weddings this month. One for a woman I briefly had an unrequited crush on, that made me consider re-enacting the final scenes from The Graduate. Thankfully, courtesy and common sense won out on that. The other ten were this morning at church, when we had a mass wedding on 10/10/10. Weddings make me depressed, and a bit lonely. Even the ones where I'm not thinking about going all Ben Braddock.

       After the wedding earlier this month, I decided I would do something about it. I decided I would ask out my current unrequited crush. (You see, that's how I am: while others move on from relationship to relationship, I move from unrequited crush to unrequited crush. Less emotional effort, less expense, less everything really. Mostly, less risk and less satisfaction.) I would talk to her at my first opportunity.
And that opportunity came and went, and I found out she already had weekend plans, and I accepted that as a sign that it wasn't the right time.
And then I saw The Social Network. And I saw me. Not me exactly, but a peer. A whip-smart kid just hoping to make a connection with one person. And it didn't happen. But along the way, he realized that everyone else is just trying to make that one connection. And that was the big idea. The whole movie is about whether or not it was his big idea, but that's almost irrelevant. He did the work, so it's his.

       And that's where we're different. I haven't put in the work. I'm lazy. I've always believed that it's better to work smarter rather than work harder. The problem is that the world is full of people who are working both harder and smarter, and I'm being left behind. When I look at myself and I don't like what I see, it's because I haven't put in the work. My out of shape physique, my clothing, my haircut, my grooming, my manners, my charm, my car, my living situation, my financial situation, my career, my social life, my lack of any romantic relationship, my family life, my relationship with God: I need to try harder. And smarter.

       I need to be a better man. And beyond "doing the work" and "being smart about it," I'm not really sure what steps to take. So I'm going to work on that. But I'll need help. I figure that I'm not the only one out there hoping to be better, and I know that people out there will have the knowledge I need. So I'm asking for help. Send it to me, and I'll share it with the little corner of the world that reads this blog.